We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
