you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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