His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
