3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!