Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday