I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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