I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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