You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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