Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
