goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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