Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
