She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
