JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
