He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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