I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
