I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there's paper in my vomit.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
