put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
