yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
farters have to be the big spoon...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
