is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
