I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
