I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need moral support for this bender
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
