sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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