So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
