We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
