Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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