I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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