Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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