Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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