she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
