Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
