Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
wanna go halves on a baby?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
