Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
