So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
