Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
