yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Barsexuality is the new black.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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