Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
