Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think my vagina is haunted
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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