Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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