guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
