Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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