I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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