Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
