barbara walters just said penis...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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