Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
