I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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