Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
