She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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