...so i touched it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
