i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize