he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
