How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I deserve this hangover.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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