Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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