3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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