I want to walk on stilts...naked
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just want to make out with him forever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
