I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
