When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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