I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
