You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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