No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
